I’m done wanting to be happy. Happy is a momentary, fleeting emotion that betrays at its first chance. Shifting like sand and slippery like ice, it doesn’t last. It’s awfully nice to experience but that’s where it ends- as an experience. No, I don’t even try to be happy anymore. If it happens, GREAT. But that’s not my end destination anymore.
What I have found far more reliable is peace. Deep-seeded peace like a baby- soft, cashmere blanket cocooning my being is what I earnestly seek. The peace of knowing who I am, what I choose to do and why I choose to do it far surpasses any momentary happiness. I know where I am going and feel grounded in what I believe. I don’t need others to validate or understand it either.
This is the best I’ve found. It’s finally quiet in my soul. (And yep, I know we all have one.) It doesn’t require money, beauty, possessions or other people. MY CIRCUMSTANCES CAN EVEN STINK. I have FINALLY determined how to be. Be! Did you get that? BE. I don’t need to perform, be liked, be successful or beautiful. I don’t need to be financially rich to have peace. Happiness? You possibly need some or all those to experience happiness- not peace- it’s free.
Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you.” I think I finally understand that’s what He wanted me to seek. He didn’t leave me happiness- He left me PEACE. It is mine and I’ll take it.
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